Fat Kayakers Rock! Pleasantly plump paddlers are better insulated and float
without adjunctive buoyancy - though rarely come out of their kayaks at sea
accidentally, as self-rescue and group rescue can be more difficult so they
are therefore much more prudent. Beyond this too, epidemiological studies
suggest death rates that are lower for those who are not too heavily overweight,
but overweight none-the-less. And rotund paddlers paddle bigger boats so
carry more food that they can share with skinny dudes unable to generate
calories for heating when their own rations prove meager, not to mention
they bring more beer that can be shared; they are a slower moving/bigger
target for a grizzly charging a group of kayakers and alternatively may
scare away scavenging creatures of opportunity, though secretly, their
skinny companions are now drunk and are more easily subdued by hungry
wildlife. With bigness comes bigger muscles so they make great towing
machines and kayak lifters and believe this, seem to be way easier going
unlike those tight-butted dudes who flip out at every inconvenience. While
no lightweights when it comes to ability to manhandle a paddle, Mr. Big
and Tall and Wide also doesn't need a rudder, as his craft sits lower in
the water thereby increasing waterline length and therefore increasing
tracking ability. Plus-sized paddlers have better websites, too! No roll or
drown here, just good, meaty footage of surf carnage, splashing wave faces
in the face and friends of all sizes cavorting around the sea. Eschewing the
fat farm, these above average paddlers genetically predisposed to their size
forego the elusiveness of thinness, make peace with their super-size and
paddle on in pursuit of happiness and what health benefits accrue.
Amen